Tough

It's worth repeating: "This is not how it should be. This is not how it could be. But this is how it is... and our God is in control."

These words were penned by Steven Curtis Chapman after the tragic death of his adopted daughter, and are the first words in his song, "Our God is in Control" in his most recent album, Beauty Will Rise.

As I listen to this song and so many others on this album, I can hear the pain, agony, and questioning in Chapman's lyrics, but I am also encouraged by his faith-filled proclamations. I can feel myself fighting the fight of faith with him...pushing through my pain and doubts to God's presence and power.

There have been many times in the past year when it has been hard for me to say that God is in control.

Today I attended a funeral for a young woman who seemed to have so much more life to live. I watched a mother and father and brother and husband grieve deeply and wonder how this could happen... and I had to ask God, "Why?" When I think of her sweet, young children, my heart breaks, and I wonder "Why?"

There are so many questions I can not answer. There are hurts that words can't describe.

I do know that out of the hurts in my own life, beauty is rising. Spring is coming. What was once completely ashes and ruins is being rebuilt. What has been broken is being restored...and being made better and stronger.

I will always have questions. But in my heart I will keep believing...

God is in control. And He loves me. And sees me. And cares. And can handle all my questions.

Blessings!

the fruit of suffering

It's worth repeating that "people who have never suffered in life have less empathy for others, little knowledge of their own shortcomings and limitations, no endurance in the face of hardship, and unrealistic expectations for life." (Timothy Keller, Counterfeit Gods)

Wow! This is quite a quote...loaded with truth! I, probably like you, do not enjoy suffering. In fact, if I had the choice, I would choose to NEVER suffer.

However, there is fruit that comes from suffering that doesn't come any other way.

Recently, in my life, I am learning to embrace suffering because it can lead to brokenness...and open my heart up to God in a brand new way. I have come to the place where I can say, "I would never have chosen these circumstances, but I appreciate who I am becoming through them." I can honestly admit that I couldn't say that for a while...but by God's grace, I am able to say it honestly... and even thankfully...

When we go through suffering, several things happen if we choose to embrace it and not get bitter, resentful, or swallowed by self-pity... (thanks to Timothy Keller for pointing these out!)

1. We will have increased empathy for others. Show me someone who is judgmental or apathetic toward someone who is suffering, and I will show you someone who has never experienced true brokenness in their life. But the truth is they probably will someday... and will need people to be loving and empathetic toward them...

2. We will have a greater knowledge of our own shortcomings and limitations. I have learned more about myself in suffering than in times of peace... Some of the things I have discovered about myself I don't like... I don't like my shortcomings... I don't like that I have limitations, but I do... and I can not be all things all the time. I can not be strong all the time. I am a human being with human emotions. This helps me to rely on God more than ever when I am confronted with my weaknesses.

3. We will learn to endure. One of the greatest lessons I learned is that suffering does not have to do me in... I can not only survive under it, but I can learn to endure with joy and peace because I know that I KNOW God is with me and has my best in mind. His perfect love casts out my fear that I will not make it through.

4. I develop realistic expectations for life. The truth is that life is not a "happily-ever-after"... it is more of an "acceptance-with-joy" life. Suffering helps me to accept more than I thought I could. I can accept that people will fail me. That I will not be perfect. That my children will not be perfect. That life can seem very hard, even unbearable at times, but that God came to help me with my REAL life, not my IDEAL life. Real life comes with real challenges and real disappointments. Knowing that, and accepting that, can keep me from total devastation when my expectations aren't met.

These are just some of the "benefits" of suffering... and I type that tongue-in-cheek!!

I would love to hear others if you have them...

Blessings!

Big Feet, Small Feet

It's worth repeating Job in Job 23:11, "I've followed Him closely, my feet in his footprints, not once swerving from His way."

I have small feet... This, as far as I am concerned, is a good thing! Usually, it's the really small sizes and the giant scary sizes (to me) that are left over at the clearance shoe sales... so I tend to be able to get good deals on shoes! In the last year, I was getting hand-me-downs from my 12 year old niece... and i love free stuff! Soon, I will probably be able to wear the same size as my own daughter... and I am all about saving a buck!

This winter, with the crazy snowfall we've had, has given me yet another reason to love my small feet... When I go to walk a path in the knee-high snow, I tend to trip and fall, but when I walk in the footprints of my husband, who has much bigger feet than I do, the way is much easier, and my feet, and the rest of me, stay a lot warmer and drier.

I love what Job says about following the Lord closely, putting his feet in our Shepherd's footprints. There is so much peace in that for me. I follow behind and put my little feet in the huge feet of the knowing, caring, "has my best in mind" Shepherd. Sometimes He leads through easy pastures, sometimes through the Valley of Death... but I do not have to fear because He is leading me...

I run into problems when I get out in front and try to forge the path on my own... I lose my direction... I am not sure where I am heading and how to get there... I make decisions that end up harming me because the Shepherd was not leading me... I was trying to lead myself..

I encourage you today, and encourage myself once again, to let the Shepherd get out in front... let Him lead you... you FOLLOW him... into paths of righteousness, by still waters, through the valleys, and up to the mountains... He knows the way... you just put your feet in His footprints..

Blessings!

Convinced

It's worth repeating that "Three-fourths of receiving anything from God is being convinced God wants us to have it." (Steve Sampson, You Can Hear the Voice of God)

When I read this quote, my mind automatically doubts. I am such an analytical person, that to say that exactly 75% of receiving from God is being convinced He wants us to receive, I think, How can you give such an exact number?

However, in my own journey, I am learning many lessons about faith and could attest to the verity of this statement. One lesson is that I tend to have more faith for others than I do for myself... Sure, God wants to heal Joe-Bob, and He wants to provide for Sally-Jane, but when it comes right down to it, I am not always convinced He wants to do those things FOR ME!!

So for me, faith has become not just believing that God can and will, but that He wants to!!! He wants to heal ME, He wants to restore ME, He wants to speak to ME...

I love the story in the Gospel of Matthew about the leper. The leper says to Jesus that if Jesus WANTS TO, he could make Him clean. And Jesus simply says, "I want to. Be clean." He WANTS TO!

That gives me such encouragement and builds my faith... It CONVINCES me that God wants to move on my behalf...

Are you convinced??? Your own "convincing" could be the key to unlock the door of receiving all God has for you... at least it's 75% of it!!

Blessings!

Work and Energy

It's worth repeating that "It was God giving me the work to do, God giving me the energy to do it." (I Corinthians 15:10-11, MSG)

This is a quote from the apostle Paul, one I am so grateful he said...

I am entering a new chapter in my life. Actually, I feel like I have several chapters being written at once, but I am entering into a season of ministry again. I am excited, but also a bit hesitant. I tend to be a doer. I do the work. It is my energy doing the work. I get tired. I become anxious that there is work. I get angry that I allowed myself to have too much work. I pray. I surrender. I feel better. Back to the beginning.

However, I truly believe this ministry chapter of my life is going to be different than the previous chapters. First, I have decided to let God bring the work to me. I am not going to promote myself to get ministry jobs... I am going to let God bring to me what He has for me. There is so much peace in that for me. Can't you just feel the relief in not worrying about planning your future perfectly??

Second, I am going to let Him provide the energy to do the work He brings. I have found that when I quiet myself before Him, when I stop striving for perfection, when I surrender my plans to Him, He gives me the energy and even an excitement to do His work!! I am so thankful that He gives the energy I need... especially since most of my energy gets used up by my very energetic family. And He knows that. There are times I feel no natural energy, but as I allow God to put His work and will in my heart, I feel a supernatural energy from within, and can't wait to get working on what He has for me... Can't you feel the excitement of not having to become addicted to caffeine and an imbalanced lifestyle to do the Lord's Work???

As I begin this new chapter, I think I will title it... "God-Initiated Opportunities... No Coffee Required!"

Blessings!