The "Fixer" Mentality and Why You Can Let Go

Sometimes I have to remind myself that "There is a God, and I am not Him." "There is a God, and I am not Him." "There is a God, and I am not Him." You get the idea.

Being the wife of a recovering addict is not an easy job. I have had to surrender my husband's recovery more times than I can count. I have had to pull my hands of control off his recovery program more than I want to admit. 

Honestly, I wish I could fix him. I wish I could just make it so he never had another struggle, another temptation, another slip. I wish I could rescue him and make everything better for him.  But I can't. 

I wish I could make sure that I would never be hurt again by his addiction. I wish there was a quick fix. A medication. A mantra. A yoga pose that would do the job in minutes. But there's not.

There is grace though. For him. For me. There is also Truth. Truth that will set us both free. And there is time. One day at a time. One moment at a time. Grace and truth over time. Sounds like a formula for recovery. And it is. 

I can't fix my husband. I can't fix me. But God can. And His grace is enough to sustain me while I apply His truth to my life every single moment of every day. 

So today, I again remind myself that "There is a God. A good God. A gracious God. A God full of truth. And I am not Him." And in this moment I am just fine with that. And I will remind myself of it again in the next. And the next. And the next.

Blessings!

With the Same Comfort

Three years ago, when my husband's affair was uncovered, the last thing on my mind was how "making it through" that time would help others make it through their "times".  I was in survival mode. However, this week I got to see how God can use my pain to work His grace in someone else's life.

A few months ago, I received a 911 Facebook message from a dear friend from college.  She had just been told of her husband's affair.  As I talked with her over two hours, I heard echoes of myself in the words she was saying and could empathize more than I wish I could.

Over several months, I have talked with her and heard her fears, struggles, anger, and grief.  Last night, I was privileged to see the miracle of reconciliation in her marriage as my husband and I (we are now reconciled) were able to have dinner with her and her husband and see the forgiveness and love and grace of God being given and received between the two of them.

If we will allow God to comfort us in our pain, He will allow us to comfort others with the same comfort we received.  But the caveat is that we must allow God to comfort us. There is purpose in our pain.  If we choose to grow bitter, and unforgiving, our pain will define us, bury us, and keep us from the amazing discovery that there is life after pain. And not just our lives, but the lives of others who will have hope because we have made it through to tell our story.

Being a victim may make us feel empowered, but there is no power in being a victim.  There is only prison.  Prisoner to our bitterness.  Prisoner to our hatred.  Prisoner to our feelings.

It is a choice to walk out of "victim" prison.  You have to decide to let God use your pain instead of your pain using you.  Your pain has purpose... and someone needs to hear your story to deal with the pain they're facing today.

Blessings!

Great Expectations

The New Year gets much hype.  It's easy to get caught up in the frenzy of setting all kinds of expectations for ourselves in the New Year.  I, too, have some goals for myself.  One is to write more.  Hence, I am writing this post today.  Writing is an outlet for me.  I have found it calms me and keeps me sane to write down my thoughts, ideas, anxieties, hopes, fears, burdens, and prayers.

The New Year can also be overwhelming as I think of "getting through" another year of planning, parenting, and meeting other people's expectations of me.  My job is a "people" job and there are no shortage of "people" problems.  Not a week goes by that someone doesn't request my help with an issue in his or her life.  Don't get me wrong.  I know God has asked me to help others and I am honored that He chose me for the task.  It just never gets easier to see people hurting and I wish I had more answers to people's hurts and confusion and doubts.

I know one thing for sure.  God has already seen this New Year.  He is already in it.  He knows what will happen this year.  He's leading me into it and He will give the strength, wisdom, and hope needed every step along the way.  He has good plans for this year!

Because I know God loves me perfectly, I don't have to be afraid of 2013.  Because God has promised to be the God of the impossible, I don't have to worry about the impossibilities I will face.

Last night, as we brought in the new year with our Celebrate Recovery family, I was reminded that in 2013 I want to continue to see God's hope and grace transform lives!!  And I want to be a part of a plan like that.  I won't be perfect this year, but I will be living out of God's grace for me.

Happy New Year!

Many Blessings!

Where Pain and Hope Collide

Telling your story of recovery is freeing, liberating, inspiring... and painful.

In the last month, I have had to "re-live" my past on a consistent basis, or at least it has felt that way.  

With every crisis phone call, and every person seeking hope, I have an opportunity to share how God has brought hope into my hopelessness, and restored me when I was at my lowest point.  Sounds great, right?  It is!  God has been faithful to me and never abandoned me in my pain.  However, there was still pain... and pain is painful.

As I relay my hope-filled story, I am reminded of a pain-filled past.  Painful memories flood my mind and tears begin to stream down my cheeks as I remember the betrayal and hurt that reside in the calendar days of a few years ago.  I don't want to feel those feelings but they are a part of my story.  

So, I have options... Do I not tell my story so I don't have to remember the pain of the past?  Or do I put walls around my heart as I tell the story and live in denial that the past hurt so deeply so that telling my story is easier?  Or, do I tell my story, pain and all, so that it can help one more person know that there is hope even in the greatest pain...

For me, the answer is clear.  I will not let the pain of my past keep my story under lock and key, unavailable to be read by someone who may desperately need to know that in all the pain, there is hope.

There is always hope. 

With my story, comes pain. But... with my story, comes hope.

Blessings!

More Than a Cheesy Saying

We used to say in our 12-step group that the program only works if you work it, so keep on working it because you're worth it!

At first, I just thought it was a really cheesy saying. But I said it just like everyone else. Then something happened. I started to believe it.

I started to believe that it was no one else's responsibility to make me well. It was my responsibility to work on my recovery. And recovery is hard work. It's introspection to the nth degree. It's open and raw vulnerability. It's painful digging up hurts, uprooting old habits, repairing damaged relationships.

But recovery programs only work if you work the program.

And you will only work the program if you believe you are worth recovering.

Blaming other people for where you are in life will keep you from recovering.

Shaming yourself because of what you've done will keep you from recovering.

First, you have to believe that YOU need recovery.

Yes..you! We can easily pinpoint all the people in our lives that NEED help.  And usually it's everyone but us. If the people around us would get it together than life would be better. The quality of your life doesn't have to depend on the people around you. You can become healthy and whole when you take ownership for your own issues and start the recovery process.

Second, you have to believe you are worth recovery.

And you are. I believe you are. God created you and has a plan for you. He believes you are worth recovery. Take a minute and think about what the "recovered you" would like.  Then know that God wants you to get there. Can you envision yourself actually liking yourself?

Don't wait... You are worth it!  Reach out for help. Take initiative for your own recovery. You are not alone.

Blessings!

The Most Important RSVP

I read a quote today that reminded me of me.  Mark Batterson, in his book, The Circle Maker, says, "If you are not praying TO God, then you are PLAYING God."

I find myself trying to "play" God often.  I try to figure something out on my own. I try to rescue someone out of their circumstances. I focus on self-help rather than Spirit-help.

Maybe you find yourself in the same boat. Prayer is reserved for when I REALLY, REALLY need help -- when I've gotten myself in a royal mess, and can't see the way out. When I don't have any energy left. When my reserves are depleted. When I remember that He was there waiting for me to call out to Him all the time...

I am so thankful that God is a God of amazing grace! He doesn't say "I told you so"!  He listens and replies and I listen and reply, and life is back to normal again.

Why is it that when I have tasted the sweetness of intimacy with my Heavenly Father that it's so easy for me to go back to self-sufficiency again? I honestly don't know, except that I am a go-getter, mass producer, implementer, type A crazy person who seems to always have to learn the hard way.

I find myself in the pig sty with the prodigal son wondering how I got there AGAIN! Why was I okay with going off on my own to try to figure the world out for myself?  When will I ever "get it"?

By God's grace, I find that I am "getting it" a little more each and every day.  I hear my Father calling me... and I run to Him. I sense the Spirit wooing me into a special time of worship and prayer, and I RSVP immediately.

It is a daily choice to develop deeper intimacy or to develop better "methods" of dealing with life.

Thankfully, I am finding more and more that I am choosing intimacy over the insanity of trying the same methods and hoping for different and better results.

What about you?  Do you find yourself in the boat of self-sufficiency, paddling frantically to stay on course?  If so, put the paddles down and raise the sail and let the Holy Spirit lead the boat to where He wants your destination to be. You will arrive to your destination energized instead of exhausted... rested instead of rushed... hopeful instead of harried...

Stop playing God and start praying to Him... all the time.

Blessings!

The Ugly Word

Selfishness. Not a word I like to associate myself with. It's an ugly word. It's something I teach my kids is super bad! Yet I find myself at my core a selfish person.

Every time I find myself dealing with temptation, I find my selfishness at the core of it.  I want something I can't have. I want more of something that I already have enough of. I want my own way. I want to buy more things. I want to have more me time. I want. I want. I want.

Sounds ugly when I say it out loud. 

Learning to be content is a process. But it starts with a decision to say "enough is enough". I have enough. I am enough. I don't lack any good thing. 

And it's true. I don't lack any good thing. I have a relationship with Jesus Christ that I have never had to earn and should have never deserved. I have a husband who loves me for who I am and is my biggest fan on this planet. I have children who hug me and kiss me every day. I have friends who make me feel so valuable. I have my dream job! I have a home, two cars, and a hammock!

I am so blessed. 

And I would just bet that if you would take time to spell out your haves instead of your have-nots, you would see that you are amazingly blessed as well!

The next time selfishness tries to invade my brain... I will battle it with contentment because I have God's "more-than-enough". 

Recognizing that you are enough and have enough will help you move forward on the road to recovery.  So take that step forward today. Remember, it's one step at a time...

Blessings!

A year older..A year wiser?

Today is my birthday... Actually by the time you read this, my birthday will be passed.  I am a year older. It amazes me how much happens in just one year.  The people who come into your life.  The people who move out of your life for various reasons.

We added our 4th child since my last birthday.. Sweet Quinn.  She makes me smile EVERY day.  I am so blessed to be her mommy.

I'm so thankful that I have done more than just aged one more year.  Yes, I probably have more wrinkles now, and I now have to have my hair professionally colored to cover the grays.  However, I am wiser than I was last year and further down the road of recovery in my own life.

I am wiser to the enemy's schemes in my life.  I am wiser to the hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit.  I am wiser to who are the safe and unsafe people in my life.  I am wiser because I chose to learn instead of just age.

Have you ever noticed that some folks just age, but never grow in wisdom or in their intimacy with God? They get stuck in a rut year after year.  I have definitely been there. So I don't judge.  I just recognize the destructive patterns and pray that the God's truth and grace wins out in their lives.

I don't mind getting a year older as long as I have something to show for it.  More truth. More wisdom. More fruit. Even more wrinkles..Ha!!

God has been so faithful to me through all 33 of my years on this earth!  I pray that I can be faithful to Him for the rest of my life!

Don't fret birthdays!  Just celebrate the growth and life change you have experienced in one year's time!  God will work in you and through you day after day, week after week, month after month...year after year.

Blessings!

Hope on the Journey

Have you come across a struggle you couldn't overcome?  Have you tried and tried to no avail to live a righteous life for Christ, but find yourself returning to the same sin over and over?

This past week I have been reminded that we can not win a spiritual battle without the Spirit of God.  I don't have enough willpower, physical strength, or emotional energy to put the enemy to flight.  I can't do it.

And that is right where Christ meets me.  At the end of me, when I let Him take over, is when the battle is won.

Recovery is not an easy road.  There are days I want to give up and take an easier path.  I want to live a neutral life so the enemy takes his target off my back.  I want to feel safer.

God never called me to be safe, though.  He called me to be His ambassador, His mouthpiece, His witness.  On this journey, there are times I feel very UNsafe, and I don't like it.  I feel fear.  I feel anxiety. 

The Bible tells us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (Phil. 4:13)

There are times I have doubted this verse.  I have not only felt like I could not do ALL things, but I have felt like I couldn't do anything.  

The problem is that I am relying on my own strength to accomplish, instead of relying on Christ's strength in me.  I try to defeat sin with my own willpower. Not possible.  I try to find peace through a coping mechanism.  Not true peace.

Because the Spirit of God lives inside of me, He can do all things through me.  But apart from Him, I can do NO thing that is good and pleasing to God.  

Do you find yourself there?  Are you at the end of your rope?

Go ahead and let go and know that your life will become an overcoming life when you stop trying so hard to win on your own and let the Holy Spirit be the Holy Spirit in and through you.  Christ will live His life through you if you will stop trying to be a perfect Christian in your own strength.

God is FOR you...and so am I!

Blessings!

Can we just be real, please?

Probably one of the greatest consequences of the Fall, besides of course the entrance of sin and death into the world, is the human tendency to wear a mask.  If you remember, one of the first things Adam and Eve did after they ate the forbidden fruit was to try to cover themselves up-- to try to hide their shame, sin, and newly discovered nakedness.

This trend has followed us since that unfortunate day.  It has even followed us into the church.  We put on our Sunday face, clothes, and vocabulary, and go to gather together with other believers and play "pretend".  We are all doing just fine.  No family issues.  No financial messes. No addictions.  No rebellious children.  No hurt.  No pain.  And then we go home exhausted from "faking it" all day.

My heart hurts that we can't be authentic in church.  Or at least we won't.  Everyone knows that the first step to conquering any life problem is admitting that it's there.  So, why aren't we real??  We may be fooling everyone else, but deep down we long to be able to show who we really are and still be accepted and loved.  I know I do.

In the book of I John, we read that "If we claim that we experience a shared life with him (Jesus) and continue to stumble around in the dark, we're obviously lying through our teeth--we're not LIVING what we claim.  But if we walk in the light, God himself being the light, we also experience a shared life with one another, as the sacrificed blood of Jesus, God's Son, purges all our sin."

How many "Christians" walk into church pretending to be all cleaned up inside, but with so much darkness on the inside.  They are drowning in their own hurt, pain, and addictions, but who would know?  I would rather know who someone really is with all their junk, then only get to know the superficial Suzie and the happy-all-the-time Harry.

One of the greatest benefits of walking in the light, or walking in the truth, is to be able "share fellowship" with one another.  Or get to "share life" together.  I long for REAL community with REAL people with REAL issues.  We all have them.  Let's stop pretending that there are "those people" who have issues and then there's the rest of us who have it all together.  Come on, nobody really believes that.

So, be real.. be authentic.. and learn to be a safe person that people can be real with...  Let's love and not judge, let's live our lives openly before God and each other...  That's the only way authentic relationship can exist in this fallen world...

Blessings!

Future Faith

Anxiety is one of the strongest emotions a human body can feel.  It is also one of the most debilitating.  It can paralyze you.  Keep you from moving forward in your life, and rob you of peace, sleep, and joy.

Having been diagnosed with panic disorder almost 10 years ago, I know how anxiety can ravage the body, soul, and spirit.  When I'm dealing with anxiety, I can't eat..literally.  My gag reflex goes into high gear and my body rejects food.  My soul feels hopeless and disconnected.  My spirit fights to keep the faith.

So, what do we do with anxiety?  How can we recover from it's debilitating grip?  This may sound cliche, but we have to keep our eyes on Jesus.  And more specifically, vizualize Jesus with us in the present and in the future.

We can get so caught up worrying about what the future entails with regards to finances, relationships, job situations, health issues that we think we somehow have to bear our future on our own.

When was the last time that you thought about your future and imagined Jesus in the future with you?  Sarah Young says, "Anxiety is the result of envisioning your future without me (Jesus)".   Boy, am I guilty of that sometimes.  I make plans and lists, develop strategies and action steps, but it is all an attempt to control my future so I know I will be successful and strong.  It's not very often that I vizualize Jesus in the future.

In one of Jesus' famous sermons, He says, "Do not worry about your life, what you WILL eat; or about your body, what you WILL wear."  The word "will" has never popped out to me like it did a few days ago.  Don't worry about future needs.  Instead, develop a deep, relationship with Father who knows what you need and is already in the future now working things for your good.

Anxious?  When looking at today or tomorrow, picture Jesus with you there.

Blessings!

A Forced Rest

"He makes me lie down in green pastures..."

Probably one of the most well-known passages in all of the Bible, Psalm 23 is often used as to speak peace to someone who is in turmoil or to being comfort to someone in fear or pain.

My daughter has memorized Psalm 23.  I have heard it at several funerals.  I have said it at night as I am trying to sleep and my brain won't shut off.

This week, I am in the green pastures lying down.  Because I'm on vacation?  No..  Because I have been forced to rest.

I am in the last month of pregnancy and having some complications and my doctor has said, "REST!"  Do not overdo it.  Rest for your health and the health of the baby.  Rest.

I have a tendency to overdo it.  I am a doer.  A mover.  A shaker.  An overachiever.  A "yes" person.

And I pay for it sometimes.  I get overwhelmed.  Exhausted.  Burned Out.  I feel pressure to perform.  I feel guilty for saying no.  I tend to always feel in a hurry, even when I don't need to be rushed at all.  I have codependent tendencies.

There have been specific times in my life that the Lord has had to "make me lie down in green pastures".  Faced with a bout of clinical depression at one point, my counselor said to me that he would just write me a prescription for a very long vacation if he could.  I needed to rest.  I needed to take better care of myself.

So with this forced rest I am on now, I have had to say no to many people.  To several opportunities.  I have had to be still for many hours at a time.  I have had to let people help me. (Ouch!)  I have had to have Jesus remind me that more important than being a "doer" is "being with Jesus".

I am hoping that I am learning the lesson of resting and further along in that journey than before.  After all, it is much better to develop a habit of rest, a sabbath, than to have to submit to a forced rest.

So, do yourself a favor... REST!

Blessings!

The Safety Net of Life

One of my favorite passages of Scripture is found in Ecclesiates 4:9 -12.  It is a longer passage, but I think you will benefit from me writing it here:

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person fals, the other can reach out for help.  But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.  Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm.  But how can one be warm alone?  A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.  Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."

If you've ever had to face life completely alone, you know how impossible it seems.  My heart goes out to single moms, widows, and orphans.  People who are alone.

But then again, all of us need each other.  We need a support system, a safety net, a shoulder to cry on.

I think loneliness is one of the most painful feelings a person can have.  The feeling of having nobody on your side.  No one who cares.  No one who calls.  No one who checks in on you.

In the middle of life's trials, there is nothing that can hurt us more than to allow the enemy to isolate us form the people around us, even if we are not feeling like being around anybody.  You have to reach out.  God never intended you or me to go through life alone.  There is life, joy, love, and hope in community.  And each one of us needs it.

I want to encourage you to look at your life and identify your support system.  Who are the people that are your community?  Your family, friends, pastors, doctors, neighbors, and others can all have a role in your support network.  You need to be able to be honest with these people.  To not pretend everything's okay when it's not.  Choose to be more dependent and not feel like you have to so much on your own.

The world ingrains independence into our brains from an early age.  And sure, I am not talking about needing a crutch.  What I am talking about is loving one another.  Laying down our lives for each other. Bearing each other's burdens.

Don't walk life's road alone.

Blessings!

The Power of Empathy

Have you been at a breaking point in your life, a crisis, a tragedy, a low time, and you just wished you could talk to someone who could relate?

There are people who SAY they understand and then there are people who REALLY understand.  

Empathy is a powerful gift.  If we're honest, most of us wish we couldn't relate to people's tragedies because that means we have had to face some tough trials in our own lives.  But the amazing thing about trials is that God uses our trials to comfort others.  

I remember (vividly) when I started having panic attacks and faced severe depression after my first baby was born.  I was so afraid that I was going to live the rest of my life in that state.  I looked at other "normal" people and was so hurt that I would never feel normal again.  I would never be happy again.  I would never enjoy life again.

A pastor on staff with us who was in the middle of a fight with bone cancer took me aside one day, and told me how depression had consumed him for months.  I couldn't believe it.  He seemed pretty normal to me.  He was able to laugh.  To enjoy life. To smile.  He told me that I was in a season that would pass.  That gave me such hope to know he had been there and come out the other side.

Sure, there were many others who offered words of encouragement and prayers, and all of those gestures were very meaningful, but there is something very powerful about empathy and testimony.

There were also others who judged me because I was a depressed, anxious Christian.  How is that possible?  I must not have had enough faith for myself.  I needed to just snap out of it.  They had all the "answers" but no compassion or empathy.  Honestly, these "Christian" people made me question the love of Christ.  Was I unacceptable to Him because I was struggling?  Absolutely not!

The people God put in my path who showed empathy, compassion, and unconditional love were truly life savers for me.

I hope you will allow God to redeem your pain by allowing you to comfort someone else who is struggling with life.  And I hope when you face hurts and hurdles in life that you will find an empathetic friend who will help you to come out the other side as an overcomer.

Blessings!

The Art of Receiving

Many of us have heard the biblical truth, "It is better to give than to receive."  I wholeheartedly agree with this statement.

However, some take this to the extreme by giving, giving, and giving some more until they have nothing left.  They become empty.  Dry.  Critical.  Cynical.  Depressed.  Resentful.  Bitter.  Exhausted.

I have a tendency to be a "yes" person even if what I am saying yes to is not in my best interest or the interest of my family.  I tend to just "make it work".  After all, I don't want to disappoint anyone or let anyone down.  God has asked us to serve, to give, to deny ourselves.  Right?

But then I look at Jesus.  He had to take time away from the crowds to recharge, to refresh, to listen and receive from His Father.  I think of when Jesus says, "Come to me, and I will give you rest."

Yes, it is better to give than to receive, but if we never receive, we will have nothing to give.  Honestly, I am not the best receiver.  It's awkward for me to receive compliments, praise, gifts, and even love.  I am not good at it.  And yet, deep down, I want those things.  Especially love.

When you are a doer, it is easy to forget to just BE God's child and let him pour His love into you.  After all, there are too many things to do, too many people that need us, for us to take time to just sit and allow God's peace to rush our souls.

Yes, there is a lot to be said for the art of giving...but that's for another day.  Today, take some time and stop, listen, breathe deep, remember whose you are, and let Your Father pour into you... Today, learn the art of receiving...

Blessings!

Willing yourself to Believe

On Sunday, we introduced a new song at our church.  It's called "Forever Reign" and it's written by Kristian Stanfill and Jason Ingram, I believe.  The bridge in essence goes like this, "My heart will sing no other name, Jesus, Jesus."

Just hearing the body of Christ sing it together is enough to lift your faith, but my focus that morning and this week had been on the word "WILL".  My heart WILL sing.

I'll be really transparent.  I haven't been feeling much like singing lately.  I am 32 weeks pregnant, which is a huge blessing.  However, I tend to have difficult pregnancies.  This one hasn't been my worst, but it also hasn't been the best.  I always deal with depression and anxiety during pregnancy.  It is a struggle for the whole nine months.  And this pregnancy has been especially difficult with lack of sleep, fatigue, and some pulled muscle that makes life difficult.

Don't get me wrong.  I am VERY excited for our sweet girl to come... but the getting there is not easy.

I have had to will myself to sing.  To worship.  To praise.  To trust.

Some days I just cry out to God.  Other days God gives me a glimpse of our little one to come and it spurs me on through the day.

Now, I have just been more transparent with you than with most people in my life.  Most people would not even believe that I have struggles like this.  Not because I pretend not to, but because I just don't tell very many people.

There are times in our lives when we have to CHOOSE to worship.  Through depression.  Through tears.  Through pain.  Through life, really.

It is a choice for me everyday.  Honestly, I don't feel like it.  But I know I NEED to put the Lord in His rightful place in my life everyday in order to be sustained.  I know I have to get my eyes fixed on Him.  Do I still have hard days?  You bet.  But I know He is with me.  And I WILL sing His name.

Blessings!

Hurt vs. Harm

One of my favorite Proverbs says, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend."

At first glance, this proverb may seem contradictory.  Wounds can never be a good thing, right?  They hurt.  They burn.  They sting.  Friends aren't supposed to wound us.  They are supposed to support us. Love us.  Stand beside us.  Encourage us.  Make us laugh and feel better about ourselves.

Sure, these are great qualifications for a true friend.  Honestly, though, we need friends who will also be real with us when we are making bad choices.  Who will stand in the way of us walking down a harmful path.  Who will keep us accountable to the values and goals we have for our lives.  Does it hurt when a friend "wounds" us by doing these things?  You bet.  We may get defensive, give them the silent treatment, or post some vague comment on facebook about how we wish we had real friends.

But the truth is a friend who will "hurt" you so you won't "harm" yourself is a true friend.

We often think hurt and harm are synonyms.  Not really.  There are things in life that will hurt us, but they won't harm us.  It hurts my kids when I have to put them in a time-out from their computer games because they are mistreating each other.  Does that hurt them?  Yes, and I usually hear about it in high-pitched squeals.  But does it harm them?  No, it teaches them to value people.

Let's go a little deeper.  There are times God will allow pain into our lives that hurts, but it doesn't harm us.  In fact, it causes us to depend on Him even more.  To cling to Him even more.  And that is right where we should be.  The most painful times in my life have been the most intimate with Father (God) and Jesus.  Those times were very hurtful, but as I look at my life now, I see that those times not only didn't harm me but they have shaped me into the person I am today... more graceful, more merciful, more empathetic, more real.

I am thankful for friends who are willing to get in my face sometimes and not LET ME walk down a path that leads to harm.  Do you have that kind of friend in your life?  Or do you get offended and push those friends away?  Remember, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend."

Blessings!

An Unquenchable Love

Matt Redman, one of my favorite worship leaders/songwriters, and author of The Unquenchable Worshiper, states, "Situations change for better and for worse, but God's worth never changes."

Life is full of "situations".  The phone calls that make my heart race are the ones that start with the words, "There is a situation".  Immediately, I wonder what's wrong.  What happened?  Is everything going to be okay? 

Whenever I hear the sirens of a fire truck or ambulance, I immediately pray and hope for the best in what could be a horrible situation.

There have been many "situations" in my own life that seemed dire and hopeless.  My first run-in with clinical depression and agoraphobia.  Panic attacks.  Marital infidelity.  A pregnancy that was life-threatening. 

All of these "situations" put me in a place of decision.  Will I allow my love and trust for my Father (God) to be quenched, or will I throw myself completely into His grace and tender love for me?

"Situations" can cause us to grow bitter toward God.  We all know people who are angry at God.  Really angry.  Most would claim to be atheists and say they don't believe God even really exists.  I tend to view these folks as angry theists.  They know there's a God and they are bitter toward Him.  He didn't intervene in time.  He didn't respond the way they thought He should.  He seemed absent when they needed Him most.

Maybe you're there... maybe you are angry at God.  God can handle your questions about why "situations" had to happen, but He can't allow you to love Him if you won't let Him.  He will let you have your anger, even though He wants so desperately to show you His love.

Our "situations" can drive us to God or drive us away from Him.  I have chosen, though not always an easy choice, to allow my love for God to not be quenched in those times of despair.  God's worth to me, His love for me, His tender care toward me have caused me to persevere through tough times.  He becomes more valuable to me than any family member, friend, possession, or coping mechanism when I feel hopeless.

I want to have a love for God that "always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" (I Corinthians 13:7)

I choose to worship Him in the darkest situations.  And I pray that you will choose the same...

Blessings! 

Perpetual Pleasure vs Perpetual Hope

Samuel Johnson said, "The human mind moves not from pleasure to pleasure but from hope to hope."

Let's be real.  If you have lived more than a day, you have probably had moments that were not pleasurable.  Moments of disappointment, betrayal, confusion, anxiety, despair.  We may be permitted to pursue happiness, but happiness rarely pursues us.  Many live stressful days, weeks, years.  So many are plagued by disease.  Hurt by those who "love" them.  Abandoned by friends and family.  Drowning in a sea of financial chaos.

Sounds like something I want to sign up for...ha!  We really don't get a choice.  Life happens.

We do have a choice whether to choose hope in the midst of our circumstances.  We may not see a way around our circumstances, but God has promised to be with us and near us as we navigate the difficulties of this life.  Hope is certain of one thing.  God WILL get us through.  Hope helps us see a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel when all the happenings around us point to utter darkness.

So, if you find yourself today going from trial to trial, don't despair.  God is taking you from hope to hope, and his hope doesn't disappoint.

Blessings!

Forgotten...and Remembered

It's worth repeating that, "We tend to remember what we should forget and forget what we should remember." (Mark Batterson, blog)

Happy New Year!!

At the end of every year, most of us tend to reflect on the past year's accomplishments, failures, great moments, and painful memories.  It's easy to relive each moment as if we were living in it once again.  This can truly be both a blessing and a curse.

This year, I hope you will resolve to forget those things that need forgetting.  Don't keep a list of every wrong that was done to you, every hurtful word, every argument.  AND Don't keep a list of all your failures.  Allow yourself to accept the past year for what it was, and walk in the blessing of a New Year, a new opportunity for God to work His purposes in your life, a new hope for the best year ever.

Also, resolve to remeber the important things.  Most importantly, who you are in Christ.  You are accepted, you are chosen, you are a saint, and you are dearly loved!!  You are everything He has made you to be, and no less.  You have a purpose and He can accomplish it through you.  Don't forget to remember what Christ has done for you.  His death gives you an all-access pass to the Father.  That is definitely a relationship worth building in this new year!!

This year I hope you will forget what you should forget and remember what you should remember!!

Blessings!
Amanda